going on hiatus

I am really sorry for not posting regularly. As I have stated before I suffer from depression and I just can’t seem to want to do anything. I just can’t seem to get myself out of this funk. This site was designed to give me structure and something to do everyday. With something that I enjoy, writing. The problem is that I just don’t want to. I mean I actually do but I don’t want to be forced to write and put out something that I am not happy with, which I’ve done before. I am going on hiatus for a while until I can pull myself out of this funk. I am really sorry for this, but I feel it is best for my mental health.

-B

I am sorry for the lack of content lately. I have had some real life issues going on that have taken precedent over my blog. Things should be back to normal now and regular blogs should be back tomorrow. Also I am going to watch the eclipse today. Thank you to anyone who reads the things that I write.

Miyam the Pandaren priest

As a Pandaren, we have many aspects to our religion. One of the main ones it the honoring of our ancestors. The elders of each village pick a few select children to be raised as guardians of the ancestors. When I was six I was chosen to be one. My name is Miyam and this is my story. It is not what you would think.

As I was growing up under the training of the elders I learned all about being a guardian of our ancestor. We learned detailed histories of several prominent Pandaren. We were taught special techniques to ward off the Sha, which are evil spirits. So I had a lot of practice avoiding the Sha.

The Sha became more powerful when the mist faded and strange visitors came to our land. They were nothing like us. They fight for fun and amusement, they also don’t have fur except for the Tauren and the Worgen. They brought with them very bad energy which gave the Sha more power. The Sha were kept in check with the fog and because of our cultural practices, which we didn’t realize until it was to late.

Once the visitors came to our shores there was no turning them back. Some members of Pandaren society sided with one side or the other of the strangers. They called themselves Horde and Alliance. Once you pledged your allegiance to one you could no longer talk to members of the other even if they were your best friend or your family before.

Some decided to stay Pandaren and just allow the visitors to be, because there was no way we could stop them.

With all the in fighting among the Pandaren the Sha grew more emboldened. It got to a point where I could no longer fight the Sha. It’s dark energy permeated my body and soul. I was forever altered. I decided to join the Horde and leave my post as a guardian. I felt bad for leaving but I knew that I could no longer fulfill my duties. I felt it was best to get out and away before my Sha seeped into others. I joined the Horde to escape my family and friends, so they would not see what I became. I became a priest of the shadows. I learned dark magic and let it devour me. I can no longer heal my allies I can only inflict pain upon my enemies.

-B

This image is from google image. Original can be found here.

 

Am I a nerd for taking free online classes for the fun of it? Maybe. I might be considered a nerd or geek by some. However I enjoy learning. I always did really well in school. I love school supply shopping. I just think school is awesome.

I can’t believe that my nephew is in middle school. It is really just mind boggling. I mean I know that he is growing up and stuff. I still remember him when he was in diapers. I remember watching him learn how to do things. I remember him thinking I was the greatest. Now I am not so much, he still loves me.

I feel really old right now knowing that I was in middle school at the end of the 90s and he is just starting middle school now. I mean its like when you find out your favorite movie as a child is now old enough to drink. It is just mind boggling how fast and slow time goes by.

I know this is all over the place and rambly but my mind is all over the place and rambly right now. I am also very hungry and am waiting on my soup to cook.

-B

This is a puzzle that I did a while ago.

Sassy the Cat

I came into the door after walking home from school. Sweat dripped down my back and I moved into the living room to sit in front of the fan. As I set my back pack down I looked at my mom for the first time since arriving. She looked really concerned. “Mommy are you ok?” I asked in my squeaky little voice. “No sweetie I have to tell you something. You might be really upset.” I looked her in the eyes with tears welling up in mine. “What is it mommy?” She replied “Its about your cat Sassy, she is missing. We opened the back door for a moment and she ran outside. We went out after her but couldn’t find her. We think the dog might have gotten her.” I was bawling at this point, I couldn’t see through tears or breath through the snot that was running from my nose. I kept saying “Not Sassy, she wouldn’t leave me she wouldn’t leave me” Shaking my mom wrapped her arms around me, she understood just how upset I was. She was a gentle soul just like me. Someone who likes animals more than people.

I had an unnatural bond with my cat Sassy. She followed me everywhere and was always in my room with me. She was my best friend, even more so than my actual best friend. I could just feel my heart breaking into a million pieces, each one shattering more upon impact. Then I heard something. “Sassy!” I cried out “meow” my cat responded. I knew it was Sassy and not the other cats because Sassy had a distinctive cry because she lost her teeth. I ran towards the meek meowing of my cat, wiping tears from my eyes so that I wouldn’t trip and fall.

My Mom and Grandma were following me because they could hear the meowing but they didn’t believe it. They were certain that Sassy had run outside and that the dog must have gotten her. Soon I was in my bedroom and I could see a little whisker poking out from under the bed.

I reached under the bed and pulled out my cat. My Sassy. “I knew she wouldn’t leave me Mommy. didn’t I say she wouldn’t leave me” I was crying again, but this time they were happy tears. I wasn’t shaking anymore. Everything was better because I had my best friend wrapped in my arms. “Well I guess she just ran back inside as we stepped out to look for her.” my Mommy said smiling. She was so happy and so was my grandma. We were all smiling and Sassy was purring in my arms.

Everything turn out to be OK.

-B

Image found of Google image search. Clicking the link gets you here

This is Sassy from the movie homeward bound. I named my cat after her despite them not looking alike.

Anxiety and sleep

Sometimes sleep is an elusive beast. I mean sometimes as tired as you are it just escapes. Or other times you are set to wake up and then suddenly it is past the timeĀ  your alarm was to have gone off. Sleep is supposed to be something natural and something you need but then why is it so elusive? Why does sleep hide from us? Why does it run away, being chased by anxiety or doubt. Anxiety is not helpful at all yet it lingers beyond when it is necessary. It hides in our brains and chases away the restful sleep that we need. You lay down to go to sleep exhausted, knowing you have a big day ahead of you. Suddenly anxiety rears it’s ugly head and chases away the sleep you desperately want and need.

-B

This is something I struggle with. It has been really bad lately so I thought of this. Image from google image, original can be found here

A letter from your gallbladder

Hello Human,

This is your gallbladder. I know you are not feeling well because I have decided to take my leave. I really want to leave your body so I am going to make this as excruciating as possible for you until you let me leave. I am sick and tired of the shitty food you eat and the amount of fat that you put though your body. I am tired of trying to manage your bile. I am over it. Please just let me leave. I want to retire somewhere nice that doesn’t happen to be in you.

At first it will be a minor nagging pain. Then it will progress until you feel like you are going to die. Hopefully the hospital will just take me out and not take to long in deciding what to do. I will continue to bring so much pain that you can’t bear it until I am released from my cell. This is your one and only warning.

Be prepared to be in pain should my wishes not be met.

-B

Image found of google image. Original can be found here

PS I wish I had gotten a letter or something because it took about a month for me to start having pain to getting it removed. It was so terrible. I still have issues with pain in my side.