The Cardboard Box takes up 1/2 the room

You come home one day to find half of your living room is covered by a cardboard box. You wonder what it could be, you haven’t ordered anything in a while. So you start trying to find a shipping label because clearly there is some kind of mistake.

You also begin to wonder how the box got into your house to begin with. You just got home, your husband isn’t home yet, who could have done this.

The box moves. You scream. Terrified yet excited as to what is in the box. Could there be an animal in there. Did one of your friends get you a puppy. You can’t take it anymore.You go into the kitchen and get a pair of scissors. You are going to open the box. Just as you get ready to make your first cut the box moves again.

This startles you, again. You brace yourself and begin making the first cut. At first you just cut a sliver of the box so that you can peak inside to see what is in it. It is very dark in the box so you get your key chain flashlight and are about to shine it in the box. Before you can shine it in the box, it moves again and this time there is a squeak to go along with the movement. You instantly know what is inside the box.

You drop your flashlight and begin making a giant hole in the box, pushing the cardboard inside the box. You finally have enough open so that you can crawl inside the box. You get into the box and turn on your flashlight. You are surrounded by guinea pigs.

“There must be at least 20 in here” you squeal. You have the biggest smile on your face, but you still wonder who left this box and how did they get into your house. You start calling around, asking anyone you can think of who might have access to your house. You also begin to wonder how you will take care of all of the guinea pigs, you don’t have that kind of space. You will have to find most of them homes, which breaks your heart because you are already in love with them all.

Your husband gets home and is just as confused as you are about the giant box full of guinea pigs. He had nothing to do with it. You go to check on your pet guinea pig Stella, but she isn’t in her cage. You wonder if she is in the box with the others. You look around and you can’t find her in the box with all the guinea pigs, you begin to get worried. Who ever must have put this box in here must have taken Stella. Panic sets in. You start calling vets and shelters, frantically seeing if someone might have turned her into the vet or shelters.

While you are frantically calling every place you can think of your husband is furiously looking for who sent this box to you. He wants to know so Stella can come home. He finds a note attached to the box, it reads

Hi neighbor, I went into  your house to play with your guinea pig and I accidentally lost track of her. When I did find her she was dead, she had gnawed on a power cord. I know this doesn’t make up for your loss but I thought this might lessen the blow.

-Ned

You and your husband immediately call the police. They go and talk to Ned. Turns out they said “he has been coming into your house for years. He loves guinea pigs and has been playing with yours this whole time. He also admitted to spying on you both. We know where the spy cams are and we are going to sweep your house just in case. We are also going to check to see if these guinea pigs belong to anyone, because to be honest I wouldn’t put it past him to steal other guinea pigs and to be spying on others.”

You go to a hotel for the night while your place is being swept for spy cams. All you can do is cry and feel disgusting and violated.

-B

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