What’s the saddest thing you’ve ever felt? What did it feel like? How did you overcome this sadness?

The saddest and most upsetting thing that has ever happened to me was when my mom died. I was on campus at my college. I had just finished lunch with my friend and I was scheduled for therapy. I had time to kill before that so I decided to call my mom like I did every day. My grandma answered and she was crying and she told me my mom had died. At first I didn’t believe this and thought it was a cruel joke. It wasn’t. I called my boyfriend who is now my husband and told him. He came and picked me up from school and dropped me off at home. I wrote an email to my teachers because this was also right before finals were supposed to start. I tried to sleep but it didn’t work. My husbands mom was coming in that night because we were going to see TSO do their Beethoven show. The next day we were supposed to be at risk for tornadoes. So I got the closet all cleaned out and when the siren went off his mom and I got in the closet. We had the door open and were watching the tv. Then it started to sound like a train was coming right at us, so we closed the door. The lights went off. Once the noise was over we got out of the closet and went to look out the window to see what had happened outside. I got my mp3 player and we plugged in headphones so we could hear the radio. There were so many tornadoes and I hadn’t lived in AL long enough to know where those places were so we just hung out in the closet.

My grief was so intense. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I was glad for the distraction. I was also glad that the tornado knocked out the power for a week so my finals were cancelled and we could just take the grade we had. During that time we also got to know our neighbors because we were using up all of our frozen food and they had a grill. I really just wanted something warm in my tummy. I was grateful for all of the distractions that were happening. I did take moments where I just went into the closet and sobbed. I still feel pain. I still cry over things that I want to tell my mom or things that I know my mom would have liked. The only thing that has lessened the pain is time. I don’t think it will ever go away fully but it has gotten easier.

-B

Thank you for reading. I know it’s sad. This photo was of one of the last visits I had with my mom. We went on a safari in Santa Rosa. It was really cool. My mom hated to have her picture taken so I don’t have very many pictures and she wouldn’t want me to put hers online so I am not going to. So enjoy this picture of a zebra.

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