You are a hermit crab and king of your fish tank. How do you rule your kingdom?

I would rule my kingdom with an iron claw. Everything I said would be law, like when Colbert wears his big furry hat. I would be a dictator. I would make the other crabs worship me like a pharaoh. There would probably only be one to two other crabs living with me. I would also make sure that I got the biggest and prettiest shell there was.

I would hold hearing everyday to go over the agenda of my kingdom. I would make the other crabs sit and listen to me talk about nothing. I would bore them with the most minute details of the tank that they don’t need to know about but they won’t be able to leave because I would be the king crab. I would also make sure that they had jobs to do. I would give them assignments for the day and make sure that they completed them by the end of the day. I would also make them listen to my bad jokes and puns and force them to laugh at them.

-B

Image from google image. pethermitcrabs.org

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