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FYI – This is not autobiographical

One day sitting on the couch her phone goes off. She finishes what she was doing and checks it. It is her period tracker. It says she might be pregnant. She laughs it off thinking there is no way she could be.

Later that night she is with her boyfriend. She tells him about the message her phone sent her. Thinking he will laugh it off. He doesn’t, he is actually excited by the possibility. They had never talked about having kids. She had never even thought about having kids of her own.

She was taken aback by his response and was confused by her own feelings. She didn’t know how she felt about the idea of a person growing inside of her. She didn’t know if she even wanted kids. She started to worry what if her phone was right.

She went to the store the following day to pick up a test to see if she was pregnant or not. She took it before deciding on how she felt about the whole thing. Thinking that what the test said might influence her opinions. She waited and waited and then finally checked the test, it came back as negative.

She waited another week and took the second one just to be sure and it was also negative. She was so relieved. She almost felt ashamed of being so relieved. She realized in that moment staring at the negative test that she really didn’t want kids. Definitely not her own.  She figured she could adopt if she changed her mind about wanting a family.

She told her boyfriend that she was in fact not pregnant. He seemed disappointed. She knew she had to have a tough discussion with him about the future, she didn’t want to.

She sat her boyfriend down and told him that she didn’t want kids at all and that if she ever changed her mind they could adopt. He was really upset by this. It turned out his whole life all he ever wanted was a family of his own. He loved her deeply but they both knew that this was a deal breaker.

They decided to split up because of this. It was sad and not an easy decision but they both knew it was the right one. If they would have stayed together either she would have resented him because she would have had a child or he would have resented her because she wouldn’t have a child.

This is a reminder that talking about things in a relationship is important. Communication is key and it is best to be upfront about things that are really important to you. If you are not you might be with someone who can’t give you the things that you need. Be honest with yourself and your partner. If you see a future with someone make sure you talk about the big things that matter in the long run.

-B

Image from google image.