Am I a nerd for taking free online classes for the fun of it? Maybe. I might be considered a nerd or geek by some. However I enjoy learning. I always did really well in school. I love school supply shopping. I just think school is awesome.

I can’t believe that my nephew is in middle school. It is really just mind boggling. I mean I know that he is growing up and stuff. I still remember him when he was in diapers. I remember watching him learn how to do things. I remember him thinking I was the greatest. Now I am not so much, he still loves me.

I feel really old right now knowing that I was in middle school at the end of the 90s and he is just starting middle school now. I mean its like when you find out your favorite movie as a child is now old enough to drink. It is just mind boggling how fast and slow time goes by.

I know this is all over the place and rambly but my mind is all over the place and rambly right now. I am also very hungry and am waiting on my soup to cook.

-B

This is a puzzle that I did a while ago.

Sassy the Cat

I came into the door after walking home from school. Sweat dripped down my back and I moved into the living room to sit in front of the fan. As I set my back pack down I looked at my mom for the first time since arriving. She looked really concerned. “Mommy are you ok?” I asked in my squeaky little voice. “No sweetie I have to tell you something. You might be really upset.” I looked her in the eyes with tears welling up in mine. “What is it mommy?” She replied “Its about your cat Sassy, she is missing. We opened the back door for a moment and she ran outside. We went out after her but couldn’t find her. We think the dog might have gotten her.” I was bawling at this point, I couldn’t see through tears or breath through the snot that was running from my nose. I kept saying “Not Sassy, she wouldn’t leave me she wouldn’t leave me” Shaking my mom wrapped her arms around me, she understood just how upset I was. She was a gentle soul just like me. Someone who likes animals more than people.

I had an unnatural bond with my cat Sassy. She followed me everywhere and was always in my room with me. She was my best friend, even more so than my actual best friend. I could just feel my heart breaking into a million pieces, each one shattering more upon impact. Then I heard something. “Sassy!” I cried out “meow” my cat responded. I knew it was Sassy and not the other cats because Sassy had a distinctive cry because she lost her teeth. I ran towards the meek meowing of my cat, wiping tears from my eyes so that I wouldn’t trip and fall.

My Mom and Grandma were following me because they could hear the meowing but they didn’t believe it. They were certain that Sassy had run outside and that the dog must have gotten her. Soon I was in my bedroom and I could see a little whisker poking out from under the bed.

I reached under the bed and pulled out my cat. My Sassy. “I knew she wouldn’t leave me Mommy. didn’t I say she wouldn’t leave me” I was crying again, but this time they were happy tears. I wasn’t shaking anymore. Everything was better because I had my best friend wrapped in my arms. “Well I guess she just ran back inside as we stepped out to look for her.” my Mommy said smiling. She was so happy and so was my grandma. We were all smiling and Sassy was purring in my arms.

Everything turn out to be OK.

-B

Image found of Google image search. Clicking the link gets you here

This is Sassy from the movie homeward bound. I named my cat after her despite them not looking alike.

Anxiety and sleep

Sometimes sleep is an elusive beast. I mean sometimes as tired as you are it just escapes. Or other times you are set to wake up and then suddenly it is past the time  your alarm was to have gone off. Sleep is supposed to be something natural and something you need but then why is it so elusive? Why does sleep hide from us? Why does it run away, being chased by anxiety or doubt. Anxiety is not helpful at all yet it lingers beyond when it is necessary. It hides in our brains and chases away the restful sleep that we need. You lay down to go to sleep exhausted, knowing you have a big day ahead of you. Suddenly anxiety rears it’s ugly head and chases away the sleep you desperately want and need.

-B

This is something I struggle with. It has been really bad lately so I thought of this. Image from google image, original can be found here

A letter from your gallbladder

Hello Human,

This is your gallbladder. I know you are not feeling well because I have decided to take my leave. I really want to leave your body so I am going to make this as excruciating as possible for you until you let me leave. I am sick and tired of the shitty food you eat and the amount of fat that you put though your body. I am tired of trying to manage your bile. I am over it. Please just let me leave. I want to retire somewhere nice that doesn’t happen to be in you.

At first it will be a minor nagging pain. Then it will progress until you feel like you are going to die. Hopefully the hospital will just take me out and not take to long in deciding what to do. I will continue to bring so much pain that you can’t bear it until I am released from my cell. This is your one and only warning.

Be prepared to be in pain should my wishes not be met.

-B

Image found of google image. Original can be found here

PS I wish I had gotten a letter or something because it took about a month for me to start having pain to getting it removed. It was so terrible. I still have issues with pain in my side.

Dino attack

One day a triceratops was just minding his own business in his herd. Making small talk between chews with his neighbor. When they heard a rustling sound. They saw a group of birds take flight from the trees that surrounded the meadow they were in. He thought nothing really of this until the ground started to shake. Then he and his herd knew that a t-rex was near.

This was nothing new to them they had fended off a baby t-rex earlier. Leaving it licking its wounds from their mighty horns. They went into protective formation around the little ones. They were going to defend their babies at all cost. He felt the next shake and knew this was different. This was a big t-rex, it might even be the parent of the baby they scared off earlier. If it was they could fight and might possible lose or run away.

As he looked around he realized they had no choice but to fight, they had to many young ones. The children would end up dinner for the t-rex who might not be satisfied with just one child. The t-rex might want more than one.

He suddenly had an idea. If the mothers and the children ran away they males could stay and distract him long enough for them to make their escape. He told his neighbor and soon the whole herd knew the plan. They all agreed that it was a good idea. So the moms and babies headed to the back of the herd just as planned. The second they started to make their break they saw the t-rex break through the trees.

t-rex ran at the herd and not the fleeing group with the women and children. The rest of the herd made up of almost all males was in formation ready to fight off the t-rex. They thought they had a chance because they didn’t have to worry about the babies or their mothers.

They figured wrong. This t-rex was extremely fierce and very upset. It was probably the parent of the t-rex they have hurt earlier. This t-rex was going to get its revenge for their child.

The t-rex ran at the group of males head on. It was almost like it didn’t care if it got hurt. The triceratops put up the best fight they could. There was a lot of blood. The ground would be stained red for many rains. The t-rex managed to get a hold of one of the triceratops. He was screaming for his friends to help him. Before they could manage their attack he was almost entirely split in half. The t-rex came running for them and they all decided it was best to slowly flee in formation so the rear was protected. They couldn’t save their friend as he bled slowly out. The t-rex was satisfied with chasing them off and went back to it’s kill. They could hear the bones crunching from the forest path they were on.

-B

Image is from google image, Original came from here http://www.scified.com/topic/42340 Giving credit as much as I can. Not sure exactly how to cite the pictures since I really either have them from my own photos or I just google search them.

The day she died

When I woke up that day I didn’t feel any different. I went to classes and had lunch with my friend as planned. Things were going well. I was prepared for my finals. I had a therapy appointment that afternoon. I said goodbye to my friend and started to head over to the counseling center. I decided to call my mom while I waited because I talked to her everyday. I called and my grandma answered “Hello” she cried. I replied “What’s wrong grandma, can I talk to mom?” She replied “Your mom passed away today.” I stopped walking. Tears welling in my eyes. I said to my grandma “What is this some kind of joke. Let me talk to mom. She was fine yesterday.” It became apparent to me that it was in fact no joke. I made it to the therapy building and had gotten off the phone with my grandma. I immediately called my boyfriend. “My mom is dead” tears streaming down my face. He sounded just as puzzled as I had been. While I waited for him to come get me because I just wanted to go home and sleep i paced the length of the building, I didn’t know what to do about my appointment, I didn’t know what to do about anything. My therapist came back from lunch and caught me just before my boyfriend showed up. After my boyfriend dropped me off at home, he went back to work and tried to sleep. I just mostly cried until I was so exhausted that I feel asleep for a few hours. It just so happened that my boyfriend’s mom was coming down to see us that day, which was helpful to me I think. My boyfriend ordered me pizza because that is my go to meal for any emotion. On the news that night it said we were going to have sever weather the following day. Just great I think to myself. I sleep for a little bit more and wake up at 5 to the tornado siren. So I go downstairs and turn on the tv to see the weather, while I am listening to the weather man I proceed to clean out the closet under our stairs, AKA tornado shelter. I get it set up as if we will only be in there 10 minutes or so, there are still bags in the far back and everything. His mom gets up and I inform her that we will have to get into the closet later that day when the siren goes off again. It’s probably nothing to worry about. The siren goes off and I have to door open listening to the tv thinking ok it should be about over. Suddenly the power goes out. Then I hear the scariest noise I’ve ever heard. It sounded like a freight train coming right at us. I yell to his mom “close the door, close the door, close the door.” We sit in there for a little bit waiting until it sounds like everything has calmed down. Once we feel safe we come out of the closet and peek outside. There are other people outside as well looking at the damage. I feel very uneasy, not sure if my gut was telling me there would be more or if it was because my mom had just died but I told her “We need to go back inside.” Once inside again I fully clean out the closet. Just before the siren starts up again. We had the volume turned all the way up on my Zune and were listening to the radio through headphones. They just kept announcing tornadoes for the rest of the day. I think Alabama had 102 that day. We ended up not having power for a week. We basically got power back on the day that his mom was leaving.

-B

I know this is a picture of a guinea pig, my mom hated having her picture taken and I know for a fact that she wouldn’t want me putting it on the internet. Also wrote this for an online class that I am taking.

Update

Hey everyone sorry about not posting yesterday. I was feeling very anxious and depressed. I have been going through some emotional times recently and that has completely blocked my creativity. I woke up today feeling so much better. I will be streaming later today at twitch.tv/vanillalicks you can find out when by following me on twitter at twitter.com/vanillalicks or you can just donate at https://tiltify.com/events/st-jude-68061dcc-6044-49da-a6df-2c4fc95cd803/donate

and donate to St. Jude. I am trying to raise $100. Thank you and I will have a story for you on Friday.